


And there's nothing I can do

by HollyMartins



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Nigel's past, Strong Language, romania - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 06:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5118176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollyMartins/pseuds/HollyMartins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam confronts Nigel about his past and Nigel tries to hold onto his present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And there's nothing I can do

“Adam, love, they didn’t have your brand of tea,” Nigel grunted as he nudged open the door, his hands full of groceries. “I’ll pick some up tomorrow at the bodega around the corner. Too fucking cold now.”

He dropped the bags on the floor and closed the door behind him, gasping out a breath and coughing. Fuck. Maybe Adam was right about smoking. Fuck if he’ll ever get Nigel to admit it, though.

“Hey, don’t get up and help with the groceries,” Nigel huffed, wiping his nose on his jacket sleeve and reaching down again. “I got it.” He glanced up and finally noticed that Adam was standing stock-still, his back to Nigel. “Adam?” He furrowed his brow and straightened up again. “Babe, what’s up?”

When Adam did not move, Nigel took four long strides and was beside him. 

“Darling, what it is?” Nigel asked softly, taking in the sight of Adam staring straight ahead, through the window but with curiously unfocused eyes. “Adam, you’re worrying me, what is-”

“You were married before,” Adam said suddenly and Nigel felt his stomach drop. He was suddenly cold and it had nothing to do with the chill in the air.

“Adam, I-”

“Are you still married?”

“I…” Nigel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wincing as he felt how greasy it was. “No, I’m not.”

Adam turned and faced him, his impossibly blue eyes guarded and fuck, that hurt worse than anything he could say.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered.

Nigel sat down heavily on the sofa and rested his head in his hands.

“Because I didn’t want to have this conversation,” he admitted. 

“So you lied to me.”

“No, I didn’t lie,” Nigel said quickly, looking up at him.

“You lied by omission,” Adam said and Nigel noticed that his voice was emotionless, flat. It sounded so wrong. “That’s the same thing.”

“Fuck it, no, it’s not,” Nigel said and stood up. “Adam, she means nothing to me now. It’s all over and I’m with you now. And I love you. So much.”

He reached out and Adam snatched his hand out of his grasp. He managed to not whine aloud.

“What else are you hiding?” Adam whispered. “Do you have a child?”

“Fuck no. I promise,” he said frantically.

Adam stared at him as if he was a stranger and he cursed inwardly. It had taken so fucking long to get to where they were now and all because of that fucking pain in the ass that broke his heart back in Bucharest… Nigel bit back a growl.

Adam turned away and crossed his arms over his chest, rubbing at his own arms. Nigel closed his eyes. He recognized that move. It had just been so long since Nigel had been the cause of it.

“Did you love her?” he asked suddenly, his voice quiet.

“Yeah, I did,” Nigel sighed. “Or I thought I did. I don’t know anymore.”

Adam turned back and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Is that going to happen to me?”

“What? Is what going to happen to you?”

“Are you going to stop loving me and then forget?”

“Fuck it, no!” In his haste, he forgot about Adam’s issues with personal space and was standing in front of him, his hands grasping Adam’s arms firmly. “I can never stop loving you. That I swear. I promise.”

“You made a promise to her,” Adam pointed out, “when you married her.”

“Adam, she left me,” he insisted. “And I’m fucking glad because if she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have come here to New York and I would never have met you.”

Adam cocked his head and regarded him carefully. Nigel kept his face open, determined that his sparrow see that he wasn’t lying. 

“Are you going to marry me?” he asked calmly.

“Jesus, Adam.”

“To become a citizen?”

Nigel’s eyes widened and he jumped back from Adam as if burnt. 

“What?” he gasped. “Fuckin’ no! Never!”

“That’s what Harlan thinks.”

“Harlan doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about,” Nigel sneered.

“But you’re not a citizen,” Adam replied and he looked so fucking sad, Nigel wanted to run face first into the nearest wall. Wouldn’t be the first time. “I don’t even know how you got into this country and if anything happens to you, if the police find you, you could get sent back. To Romania.”

Nigel swallowed and nodded.

“Yeah,” he admitted, “I could.”

“And then I’d never see you again,” Adam whispered.

“Adam, I- look, if we were to, y’know, take the next step, I’d only want it to happen because we love each other and we want to do it. No other reason.”

Adam regarded him and tentatively put a hand to Nigel’s cheek. Nigel closed his eyes and leaned into his touch, turning his head so slightly to kiss his palm.

“No more hiding,” Adam whispered.

Nigel nodded. 

“And promise me you’ll be more careful,” Adam insisted.

“I promise, dove.”

Adam nodded and stepped back.

“I’m hungry,” he announced and headed towards the forgotten groceries.

Nigel huffed a laugh and sniffed, wiping his eyes.

“I’m coming,” he said and joined Adam in putting the groceries away.

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive the angst. Inspired by an Omegle RP I did the other day. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and comments are love. Stop by http://hollymartinswrites.tumblr.com/ to say hello!


End file.
